New Year's Resolutions and looking back at 2015

I'm not usually one for making formal announcements about my New Year's resolutions, but I thought it'd make a nice blog post. Plus I wanted to look back at 2015 - it was a long, long year for me. A lot happened and a lot changed...

So first -
My 2015

I got a job.
Eventually. I'd been applying for jobs for ages, long before I graduated (July 2014). I just had the worst luck in the world. It made me miserable and depressed, because I just felt like I was getting nowhere. I took a bunch of volunteer jobs, put myself out there, but still nothing. Until The Juice Academy basically came along and saved my life. I've learned so much already, and I really love it at Pharmacist Support. It feels good to be actually doing something with my life, as well as gaining valuable experience.

I got help.
At the end of 2014 I'd been through a course of "Think Positive" appointments at my doctors, where I had a counsellor who guided me through CBT. By March 2015 I'd been moved up to proper appointments with a CBT therapist. And bloody hell, did I need her.
I'm still nowhere near better, but I got to talk out my thoughts and work through trying to get my brain back on track. I was just so determined not to let my anxiety turn into full scale agoraphobia where I wouldn't be able to go more than half a mile away from my house on my own. My therapist really helped me, and I even reached a stage where I felt okay if I cried in front of her (even though I found it quite embarrassing). She helped to convince me that it wasn't the end of the world if I got too nervous to go out and buy milk from the shop at the end of my road. She proved to me that I wasn't a complete failure.
I think I cried for a week after she discharged me and I had my last appointment. She sent me off into the world to put words into practice. And I suppose it was the only way to go further. Two months into working full time and I rarely cry on the commute/at work (even then, nothing more than a few tears) and I've only panicked and got off the train early once so far. Progress.

I got better.
Well, this is a bit of a lie, I'm not better. I think this should be - I got better than I was. My digestive system is the bane of my life; I have chronic nausea and a stomach that makes noises like chewbacca. I'm constantly putting things that I love on the 'do not eat/drink' list. In May I finally got a gastroendoscopy and, although it was pretty traumatising (go for the sedation, don't try and be brave and pick the numbing spray like I did), it finally provided a bit of clarity. It's still an absolute pain and affects me every day, but at least I have some idea of what's going on.

I read more.
After finishing my degree, I almost felt like I never wanted to look at a book again. But it didn't stop my love of reading. This year I was so determined to get back into reading for pleasure. I set myself a target of 25 books, and I manged it. Here's to 25 more in 2016! Or maybe more, if I'm feeling ambitious...

My New Year's Resolutions:

Continue reading
Pretty simple really: find more time to read. Read more new books. Reread old books. Just read as much as I can!

Keep up the blog
My informal New Year's resolution for 2015 was to work on this blog, and I have! I want to keep it up. I may be a tiny blog with a tiny readership, but writing on here is something that I love!

Fix my stomach
This might not be possible, but I just want to try and make my life a bit easier. Be it changing my diet, losing weight, or trying new medication; I don't care as long as it gets more manageable! No more Chewbacca tummy, it's gone on too long!

Eat properly
Both my stomach troubles and my anxiety can affect my diet quite a lot. If I'm stressed or feeling poorly, my default reaction is to stop eating and just drink water. To be honest, this probably just makes it worse. I want to try and regulate my eating (try and stop unintentionally starving myself but also cut the junk food binging), as well as try and eat at restaurants more. I can't just stay in my comfort zone, otherwise I'll never get better.

Move out
Not that I have anything against living at home, but I'd love to move into my own place this year. It probably won't be that far away, but it'll be good to have my own space!

I don't ever think I've had 'formal' resolutions before, it'll be interesting to see if I can keep them up!
What're your New Year's Resolutions?


  1. I had set myself a goal of 25 last year too! Well done on getting through your CBT, I had to stop mine as it really just wasn't working for me. Good luck with all of your goals, especially the moving out one! :)

    1. Thank you! I'm hoping to beat 25 this year, but it's a good number to start with :)
      I'm sorry CBT didn't work out for you, I was surprised that it even worked for me! xxx